The words I can never say To my ex-wife, the mother of my children, my best friend and the one I wanted to spend my life with. It has now been 18-months since that fateful weekend when my entire life fell apart. It has been the longest, hardest year-and-a-half I have ever experienced. I haveContinue reading “A Letter to my Abusive Ex”
Category Archives: Depression
Sexism, Injustice, and Coercive Control: How the Police failed me as the male victim of a female abuser
A Tale of Two Police Forces I was in a support session when I spoke to the police officer on the phone. I told him what had happened for ten years; what was continuing to happen. He said that as it was an initial call, he could only focus on a few specific details. IContinue reading “Sexism, Injustice, and Coercive Control: How the Police failed me as the male victim of a female abuser”
Going cold turkey off antidepressants
Two weeks ago, in the midst of a major depressive episode, I decided to stop taking my antidepressant. I’d been on the same one for 17 years, with others added and removed every so often for the past 24. If Escitalopram worked, I reasoned in the depths of my despair, why was I still suffering?Continue reading “Going cold turkey off antidepressants”
Asking for help
Asking for help isn’t easy. It’s hard to admit that you’re being abused, hard to admit that you’re struggling with your mental health and you can’t cope anymore. When you’re having suicidal thoughts, when you’re fighting the urge to burn yourself and cut yourself, you’re terrified that if you admit it, people will think you’reContinue reading “Asking for help”
A New Model of Mental Healthcare
This is a plea to anybody who works in mental health: the psychiatrists, psychologists, CPNs, case managers, social workers, GPs, counsellors and psychotherapists. It is a plea to anybody in a position of power: politicians, CEOs, celebrities, public servants, journalists, writers, bloggers and influencers. It is a plea on behalf of all those affected byContinue reading “A New Model of Mental Healthcare”
The ‘Caring’ Profession?
I’ve been trying to see a doctor for 13 months. During that time, I’ve lost my marriage, my children, my home and my health. My hair fell out in clumps; my body is covered in boils; and I’m traumatised by the ten years of abuse I suffered. Worse: I was retraumatised every time I hadContinue reading “The ‘Caring’ Profession?”
Men Suffer Too
Depression and Identity
In my early teens, I was big into surfing. I wore surf clothes, read surf magazines, thought about surfing all the time. Every chance I got, I went out on the board. One day, after riding a wave, I had a sudden thought that came out of nowhere, a question of life-changing importance: Am IContinue reading “Depression and Identity”
The Narcissist’s Call
‘Do you still love me?’ ‘Do you miss me?’ ‘I just wanted to check on how you’re doing?’ ‘Did you have a good day today?’ ‘Did you remember it’s our wedding anniversary?’ I know why abuse survivors go back to their abusers. It isn’t weakness or stupidity. It’s because you live inside a cage, desperateContinue reading “The Narcissist’s Call”
Why I Started This Blog
One year ago, my life fell apart. My wife had been physically, mentally and emotionally abusing me for ten years, and it reached the point where she was actively undermining me with the children, locking me out of the house, telling me she would never let me leave her, threatening to deny me access toContinue reading “Why I Started This Blog”
The Abused Man 