This blog is about raising awareness of and changing attitudes towards male survivors of domestic abuse. It is not about denying the lived experience of female survivors of domestic abuse or trying to pitch men and women against one other.
As a male survivor of domestic abuse, I have encountered a surprising amount of hostility from women’s groups who somehow don’t think male survivors ‘deserve’ help simply because we are men, and ‘men are the enemy’. While I sympathise with this opinion, it is not one that I agree with. Saying that men can be victims of abuse too doesn’t invalidate women’s experiences of abuse, just as acknowledging that many men are abusers doesn’t mean that women can’t be abusers.
Men and women are not enemies. Abusers are the enemy. We should fight them in all their forms.