Understanding Controlling and Coercive Behaviour (by a survivor)

Everything you want to ask What is Coercive Control? Controlling or Coercive Behaviour in an Intimate of Family Relationship became a crime in the UK in 2015. In short, Controlling Behaviour is a pattern of acts where an abuser makes their victim subordinate to and dependant upon them – very much a master/slave dichotomy –Continue reading “Understanding Controlling and Coercive Behaviour (by a survivor)”

Abuse and PTSD

At the end of December, I received a letter from my psychiatrist that spelled out, in black and white, that I have been formally diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of the abuse I suffered during my marriage. It was the first time after leaving her – the first time in nineteenContinue reading “Abuse and PTSD”

Come home, daddy

What can I say? When my children ask me to come home, what can I say? ‘I’m sorry, kids, but your mum abused me to the point I had to be removed for my own welfare to a place of safety. If I go back, I would end up dead. She would make sure ofContinue reading “Come home, daddy”

Police Corruption and Coercive Control

Some are more equal than others After the police dropped the investigation into my wife for Controlling and Coercive Behaviour without looking at any evidence or speaking to any witnesses, it almost killed me. In my anger and despair, I lashed out at everyone that had failed me. I complained to Social Services about theContinue reading “Police Corruption and Coercive Control”

Sexism, Injustice, and Coercive Control: How the Police failed me as the male victim of a female abuser

A Tale of Two Police Forces I was in a support session when I spoke to the police officer on the phone. I told him what had happened for ten years; what was continuing to happen. He said that as it was an initial call, he could only focus on a few specific details. IContinue reading “Sexism, Injustice, and Coercive Control: How the Police failed me as the male victim of a female abuser”

Breaking Away from Abuse

Leaving an abusive relationship is never easy. It’s even worse when you still love the person. When you’ve shared time, shared vows, shared a home, shared children, shared dreams for the future, making the decision to walk away because you know the relationship isn’t healthy and they will eventually kill you, is heartbreaking. When youContinue reading “Breaking Away from Abuse”

The Worst Hell

When I was a much younger man, I believed I knew something about heaven and hell. Heaven was waking up on a Sunday morning beside the person I loved with no plans for the day. Hell was waking up on a Sunday morning beside the person I loved, knowing that she didn’t love me back.Continue reading “The Worst Hell”