Two weeks ago, in the midst of a major depressive episode, I decided to stop taking my antidepressant. I’d been on the same one for 17 years, with others added and removed every so often for the past 24. If Escitalopram worked, I reasoned in the depths of my despair, why was I still suffering?Continue reading “Going cold turkey off antidepressants”
Tag Archives: Domestic Abuse
Breaking Away from Abuse
Leaving an abusive relationship is never easy. It’s even worse when you still love the person. When you’ve shared time, shared vows, shared a home, shared children, shared dreams for the future, making the decision to walk away because you know the relationship isn’t healthy and they will eventually kill you, is heartbreaking. When youContinue reading “Breaking Away from Abuse”
The Worst Hell
When I was a much younger man, I believed I knew something about heaven and hell. Heaven was waking up on a Sunday morning beside the person I loved with no plans for the day. Hell was waking up on a Sunday morning beside the person I loved, knowing that she didn’t love me back.Continue reading “The Worst Hell”
Asking for help
Asking for help isn’t easy. It’s hard to admit that you’re being abused, hard to admit that you’re struggling with your mental health and you can’t cope anymore. When you’re having suicidal thoughts, when you’re fighting the urge to burn yourself and cut yourself, you’re terrified that if you admit it, people will think you’reContinue reading “Asking for help”
Abusers Abuse
Abusers abuse. They abuse because they’re abusers, and they’re abusers because they abuse. I know this is a circular argument, but it’s the safest way to think of them. They are the spider, and you are the fly. Anything beyond that, and you make yourself vulnerable. In my talks with other survivors of domestic abuse,Continue reading “Abusers Abuse”
A New Model of Mental Healthcare
This is a plea to anybody who works in mental health: the psychiatrists, psychologists, CPNs, case managers, social workers, GPs, counsellors and psychotherapists. It is a plea to anybody in a position of power: politicians, CEOs, celebrities, public servants, journalists, writers, bloggers and influencers. It is a plea on behalf of all those affected byContinue reading “A New Model of Mental Healthcare”
The ‘Caring’ Profession?
I’ve been trying to see a doctor for 13 months. During that time, I’ve lost my marriage, my children, my home and my health. My hair fell out in clumps; my body is covered in boils; and I’m traumatised by the ten years of abuse I suffered. Worse: I was retraumatised every time I hadContinue reading “The ‘Caring’ Profession?”
Men Suffer Too
Going Back to Your Abuser
Abusers don’t change. They might appear to; they might promise to; they might even give you guarantees. But they’re only showing you what you want to see. I said in The Narcissist’s Call that I understand why people go back to their abusers. They sing a siren’s song, luring you onto the rocks. They’re anContinue reading “Going Back to Your Abuser”
Living with a Personality Disorder
Two years before I had to be removed from the marital home for my own safety, my wife discovered her old school reports in a box. She gave them to me and went to bed, and I spent the next couple of hours poring through them, growing more and more horrified, and angrier than I’dContinue reading “Living with a Personality Disorder”
The Abused Man 